Family Support for Alcohol Addiction: 3 Things You Need to Know

Are you a family affected by alcohol? I’m sure you know you’re not alone. Millions suffer from alcohol addiction worldwide, but without the right support, it can feel extra lonely. Some families keep the struggle a secret, out of shame or fear of judgment. Sadly, this will prevent you from helping your addicted loved one, keeping your family in the addiction cycle and far from true healing.

Read on for 3 things you need to know today, to help you not only survive your loved one’s addiction, but thrive beyond it.

For more help on addiction, check out these articles: Powerful Bible Verses to Overcome Addiction, How to Love an Addict, Even When it’s Difficult, and Warning: 10 Common Mistakes When Trying to Quit an Addiction

How many families are affected by addiction?

While it’s hard to put an exact number on how many families are affected by alcohol addiction each year, as of 2025 it’s estimated that the cost of alcohol misuse in the U.S. is is about $249 billion annually.

According to Addiction Center’s addiction statistics, almost 21 million Americans have at least one addiction, yet only 10% of them receive addiction treatment. And about 9.5 million Americans who have a SUD (substance abuse disorder) also have a mental illness. With statistics like these, one can only imagine the long-term impact addiction has on families.

This is why it’s important, as a family affected by addiction, that you learn as much as possible about your part in a healthy recovery.

Are you keeping this a secret?

Sadly, many people keep their family’s addiction a secret. Maybe it’s a wife who doesn’t want other people to judge her husband for his drinking. Maybe it’s a child who’s afraid they’ll be taken away if they speak up about their parents addiction. Or a parent who thinks they’re protecting their child by not mentioning her destructive habits.

Unfortunately, keeping this a secret is not only harming you, it’s harming the addict as well.

You see, when we keep things a secret, that causes extra stress on us mentally. We go into the mode of having to “protect” the addict (and ourselves) from shame and accountability. It’s rooted in fear about what others are going to think or how they’re going to respond.

This is all part of the enemy’s plan. He wants to keep us separated and thinking that we’re alone in our struggle. He wants to divide us. So he’s going to keep you in a state of fear to share anything about what’s actually going on behind the curtain.

This isn’t to say that we have to go blab our business all over town or tell the grocery store clerk that our spouse is an alcoholic– nope, that’s not a good practice either.

What it means though is that we don’t lie for our addicted family member or refuse help from friends and/ or other family members. Instead, we seek the right tools to help support ourselves, as well as the addict.

3 things you should know: family support for alcohol addiction

Here are 3 things that I wish I had known years ago, when dealing with an alcoholic. If I had known this sooner, it could have prevented a lot of heartache and stress. So take it from me: don’t learn the hard way.

1. This isn’t just about the addict.

When dealing with an addicted family member, it’s really easy to point the finger at them. After all, they’re the one with the problem, right? Well, that’s not always the case.

When dealing with an addicted spouse, for example, there are things that we can do that negatively impact the situation. We can argue, yell, attack, hold grudges, and be downright nasty to the person who is addicted. All of these behaviors are not excusable, even if we think we’re doing it to “help them” (hint: it never helps them).

Let me make this loud and clear: you are not responsible for your family member’s addiction.

That being said, you ARE responsible for how you react to it. Addiction goes beyond the addict, and even if they get sober tomorrow, it’s not going to magically fix everything.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking they’re the only one that needs to get help. Addiction counseling and support groups are just as important for you as they are for the addict.

2. They can’t “just stop.”

There’s much debate about whether or not addiction and/or alcoholism is a disease or a choice.

Some go overboard with the idea that it is solely a disease, which from my personal point of view can lead to accountability issues. On the other side of that coin though, is that it’s entirely a choice. This can also be dangerous thinking, because it’s been proven a million times over that alcohol affects the very chemistry of the brain.

Once they start drinking, it becomes impossible to stop.

Here’s the thing though. Whether you believe in one opinion or the other, this issue is complex and not black and white. Upbringing, childhood traumas, current environments, and brain chemistry all come into play when dealing with addiction recovery.

Bottom line: they can’t “just stop.” Much support is needed to successfully overcome addiction long-term and prevent relapses. Most importantly, the user has to WANT to get help too. You cannot force anyone into recovery, no matter how hard you try. If you don’t want to look at it as a disease, look at it as a disorder of the mind, as well as a spiritual battle. This ain’t no easy thing, darling.

Knowing that our addicted loved one cannot fight this battle on their own can help us be better supporters and have compassion for our addicted loved ones, instead of turning into their enemy. They’re not our enemy, and we don’t need to treat them that way either.

3. Recovery is for the entire family

Long ago, I made the mistake of thinking that the addict was the only one that needed to change. I didn’t need to change, I’d done all the changing I needed. Or so I thought.

But the longer you live with an addict, the more you’ll be impacted by it, and start to develop issues of your own. Especially if you’ve been trying to fix their problem for a handful of years.

Learning how to trust after addiction, letting go of control, and setting healthy boundaries are all things we need to learn if we’ve been exposed to life with an addict.

Not all addicts and alcoholics go into recovery, but if you’re one of the lucky ones that gets to see this, don’t squander this opportunity. It isn’t just about the addict getting better. I repeat: it isn’t just about the addict getting better. We have work to do too! Most people don’t want to hear this. I know I didn’t. But sadly, if the family doesn’t get help too, it can actually hurt the chances of the addict making a full recovery.

Do yourself a favor, and seek help as soon as possible.

Final thoughts

Living with an alcoholic is one of the hardest things we can ever go through. However, we must remember that they are not our enemy! The real battle is spiritual, as stated in Ephesians 6.

Ephesians 6:12 

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Remember, Satan wants to keep us divided. He doesn’t want us to support or help the alcoholic in our lives. The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy.

I’m further reminded of what Jesus says in Luke:

Luke 6:42

How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the speck that is in your eye,’ when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother's eye.

We have to stop focusing so much on what the addict is doing, and instead focus on what we’re doing. How can we support and not enable, love and not hate, listen and not criticize? It’s not easy, and no one ever said it would be. But when we have God on our side, all things are possible.

I pray this blesses you.

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