Warning: 10 Common Mistakes When Trying to Quit an Addiction

So you think you have your addiction under control? Think again. Recovery is a process, and not one to be taken lightly. Are you making these common mistakes? Read below for common slip-ups that can happen when trying to quit an addiction, plus encouragement to pivot your direction and get back on the right path.

For more on addiction, be sure to check out these articles: Powerful Bible Verses to Overcome Addiction, Did You Know You Have 3 Enemies When Battling Addiction?, and Listen to the Broken to Blessed Addiction Podcast + More

Mistakes when trying to quit an addiction

Are you trying to maintain sobriety (or get sober), but you’re making these common mistakes?

Listen, part of the recovery process means that we’re going to stumble– this is normal. However, when we continue to repeat the same mistakes over and over again, we need to recognize our inability and weakness. This is when we reach for help.

Read this list below and be honest with yourself: am I doing any of these things that is preventing real change from happening in my life?

1. You think you can do it on your own

The most common mistake when trying to quit an addiction is thinking you can do it on your own.

Addiction is a serious matter and it’s deeply rooted in how you cope with the ebb and flow of life. When things get uncomfortable or stressful, addicts turn to the one thing they can “rely” on: destructive habits. Overcoming addiction isn’t an easy task, and many times it requires the assistance of many people, including support from loved ones.

If you think you got this on your own, you’re sadly mistaken. Reach out today to a trusted Christian friend, mentor or pastor, or book an appointment with a counselor today.

2. You put yourself in situations you shouldn’t (miscalculating)

Recovering addicts sometimes think they’re stronger than they actually are. They believe that once they’ve hit a certain “mark” of sobriety, that they can put themselves in risky situations and come out triumphant. They tell themselves, “Oh, I’ve been sober for 2 months now. I’m feeling confident. I think it’s okay if I go to this event that serves alcohol or so-and-so’s Christmas party.”

The Bible tells us all we need to know about this mindset in Proverbs 6:27-28, “Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?”

We need to be careful about where we put ourselves, not just in the early days of recovery, but perhaps even years following.

3. You don’t cut ties with bad influences

Proverbs also tells us in 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

Who are you letting sharpen you?

Part of recovery is changing people, places, and things. It’s recognizing that our ways have not been working. Unfortunately, this sometimes means that we need to cut ties with people that can get us into trouble. It’s not that we don’t love them, or we cannot ever speak to them, but we definitely need to reevaluate if this person is really good for us at the moment.

I’ve had friends that I’ve had to cut ties with, only to be able to rekindle the friendship down the line, when we’re both in a better place, mentally and spiritually. Cutting ties does not have to be ugly or dramatic– it can be as simple as opting out of events or hangouts that we know will only lead us down the wrong path.

4. You make zero changes

Again, addicts can WANT change, but think that they’re strong enough to do it on their own, without making any changes whatsoever.

To go through recovery is to change.

If you want to quit your addiction, that means you’re going to have to put some effort into it. That means you’re going to have to make consistent, profound changes in your life. You can’t take the easy way out on this one. Especially if your family, your job, and your LIFE is on the line, you have to make serious changes. Zero changes equals zero results.

5. You don’t ask for help when you feel yourself slipping

Do you think you “got this” to the point that when you feel yourself slipping, you don’t reach out to a support group or trusted friend?

This is dangerous territory.

Truly, to overcome addiction, we gotta get honest. Not just with ourselves, but those around us. This means that when we get stressed, and feel the urge to reach for our old coping methods, we reach out to someone we can trust instead. This is called an accountability partner. If you’re trying to get sober, and you don’t have an accountability partner, get one.

Having an accountability partner is not the sobriety police. Nope. It’s having an advisor that cares about you and is trying to help you walk through the trials.

6. You refuse to talk to a professional

Addicts can convince themselves that their addiction is “not that bad.” Do you find yourself doing this?

Many times, addiction can come from an unsettled past or deep trauma. Just because it happened 20 years ago doesn’t mean it’s not affecting you now, as an adult. If you’re suffering from addiction, and you have unhealed wounds or past demons, it’s crucial that you speak to a professional counselor to help you process that trauma. I highly recommend you find a seasoned Biblical counselor that is specialized in addiction treatment.

Don’t know where to find one? Check out Focus on the Family’s counseling services and referral list.

7. You make excuses for standing still

Hand in hand with making zero changes, making excuses for those zero changes is a big mistake. Huge.

If you’re making excuses, that means someone is asking why there’s no follow-though. That probably means they haven’t seen anything different, and they’re worried about you. Addicts can take this as accusations or control– and sometimes, it is. Sometimes family, while meaning well, can also develop destructive coping skills to deal with the addict’s behaviors.

However, accusations or control aside, we do have to ask ourselves: are we making excuses?

Are we using valid-sounding excuses to justify not getting help for our addiction? Like work or time or finances?

Bottom line: if you want to quit your addiction, you have to stop making excuses. You have to stop looking at your family like the enemy. You have to get help.

8. You skip church services

It’s imperative that regular praise and worship services become part of a recovering addicts recovery plan. Why?

Because we need to be getting spiritually fed. We need to be reminded about Jesus, and taught weekly about the Word, not just in an addiction-point-of-view-way (such as in a recovery meeting), but in a I-need-the-Lord-way. Does that make sense? Church services provide a different perspective that is valuable to our recovery. It’s being around other believers that can help lift you up and encourage you. It’s singing and praising the Lord’s Holy Name.

If you are newly in recovery, don’t skip church. If you’ve been in recovery for a while now, don’t skip church.

9. You stop reading your bible

Work. Meetings. Counseling appointments. Church services.

These are all things that can be good, yes, but are you so busy now that you’re missing out on reading your Bible at home?

Reading your Bible daily is an important puzzle piece to our recovery. Praying and crying out to the Lord is good, but we need to open the Bible to see what He has to say about it. If not, we’re having a one-way conversation with God. I encourage you to set a specific appointment with God every day, to study His Word and have a communion with Him. Then, don’t miss that appointment. It’s the most important one of the day.

10. You keep the door cracked for the enemy

Addicts can make amazing progress in such a short time that sometimes… they get cocky.

They think, I GOT THIS, and even though they’re going to meetings, speaking with a counselor, reading their Bible, and attending church services…they forgot to do one thing.

Shut the door.

We can put our recovery at risk when we choose to leave the door cracked (or wide open) for the enemy. Watching violent or over-sexualized movies and tv shows, listening to destructive, negative music, and keeping social media accounts open are all ways we can leave the door open just wide enough that we let the enemy slip in. Satan ain’t no dummy. He knows what’s going to tempt you and get you to slip. And he’s going to do whatever it takes to get into your head.

Do yourself a favor: slam the door. Add double padlocks. And throw away the key.

What happens when you don’t take sobriety seriously

Not taking sobriety seriously means that you will likely end up right back where you started, only seven times worse.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 12:45:
“Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first. That is how it will be with this wicked generation.”

If you don’t get out of the drivers seat with your addiction, and let Jesus take the wheel (literally), you will end up with seven more spirits.

But if you want to end your addiction for good, here’s some things you can do, right now:

• Stop and pray right now. Ask the Lord to forgive you and help you take the next steps.
• Pick up the phone. Call someone you can trust, and ask them to be your accountability partner (warning: only do this if you can accept being held accountable!)
• Book an appointment with a professional Biblical counselor that has experience with addiction and possibly trauma recovery.
• Seek out Christian recovery meetings. Then, actually attend! Don’t just leave it open as a bookmark on your phone– that doesn’t count.
• Pray again. And keep praying.

Final Thoughts

When we begin our recovery process, unfortunately we can get to a point where we think “we got this.” Part of true recovery is realizing that we are weak. Our strength will run out. No matter how hard we try, we will never fully have the ability to overcome our addictions on our own.

But you know who can help us overcome? The Ultimate Overcomer.

I want to remind you that His strength is made perfect in weakness.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
-1 Corinthians 12:8-10

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
-Isaiah 40:29

If you find you’ve made these common mistakes when trying to quit an addiction, it’s ok.

The important thing is that we recognize it and take action, today. Stop relying on yourself to get you through this. Rely on the Lord, and pray that He connects you to the right people to help you overcome your addiction.

There is hope for you today, friend. You just have to trust Him, that He knows what to do.

I pray this blesses you.

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